


help me leave these lonely thoughts behind (darling only you can ease my mind)

by a_secondhand_sorrow



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Kleinsen, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, late-night texting, theyre cute, this is pure fluff lads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 14:49:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17869298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_secondhand_sorrow/pseuds/a_secondhand_sorrow
Summary: One night, Jared got a standard ‘hey are you awake?’ text from Evan.This wasn’t out of the ordinary, so Jared replied ‘yeah you good?’Three dots, then vanishing. Three dots. Nothing. Three dots.‘can i call you’***or: Jared’s crush and Evan’s insomnia are gonna combine to make one hell of an explosion





	help me leave these lonely thoughts behind (darling only you can ease my mind)

**Author's Note:**

> title from “ease my mind” by Ben platt 
> 
> originally requested by @sad-cat-bitch on tumblr, and I love my boys, so viola.

Sometimes, in the dead of night, Jared would awaken to a buzz of his phone on his bedside table.

Sometimes, he’d accidentally knock it to the floor, forcing himself to crawl onto the ground to retrieve it. Or he’d bang his head on the headboard, cursing his pillows for failing to protect his head. Or he’d stab himself in the eye with his glasses as he tried to get them on in the rush to reach his phone.

He always looked at his phone immediately.

Sometimes it was a simple _hey you up?_ text, which generally meant that he was close to a panic attack and his mom wasn’t home. Occasionally it’d be a meme that Jared knew meant he couldn’t sleep. One or two times, it was him calling in tears, anxious to the point of illness about a project or an interaction.

It was always Evan.

So he sometimes sent back a _yeah what’s up_ , or a _want me to call you?_ or a _haha nice one_ , or he’d answer the phone and say, in much to gentle a voice for ‘concerned friend,’ “Hey, take your time, I’m up anyways. Just try to calm down. Breathe with me, in and out.”

He’d never miss a text, even though his heart practically screamed out of his chest every time he awoke to a _bzzz_.

When they saw each other at school, eating lunch opposite each other or working on Spanish projects, there’d be little mention of the late-night talks. Occasionally Evan would mumble a _thanks_ , and Jared would throw back a _don’t mention it_ , trying to ignore the tug at his heart when Evan’s eyes were downcast in the hope that Jared wouldn’t ditch him because of his actions.

  
The whole time, Jared convinced himself that the only reason Evan did this was because he trusted him as a friend, this is what friends do, it’s normal, stop letting your heart flutter every time he looks vaguely in your direction.

One night, Jared got a standard _hey are you awake?_ text from Evan.

This wasn’t out of the ordinary, so Jared replied _yeah you good?_

Three dots, then vanishing. Three dots. Nothing.  
Three dots.

_can i call you_

This was a little strange. Evan only initiated phone contact in the rarest of times.

_yea ofc_

(Jared mentally kicked himself for his stupidly intimate ‘ofc’)

He picked up on the first ring, the “hey” breathed from his lips sounding a little to desperate for his liking. But that thought was pushed from his mind as Evan started talking. He sounded like he was about to start crying.

“Hey I um-I know that it’s really late and you and you’re probably wanting to sleep and um, _God_ I’m always bothering you about-about stupid things but I uh-“

Emotion creeping into his tone, Jared attempted a “hey, it’s okay, how about you take a second to bre-”

“Nonononono, I just, I need to, to get this out? Because I know that if i don’t-if I don’t say it _right now_ I’m going to chicken out and and, I can’t-I can’t chicken out this time. So. Please.”

“Shit, dude, yeah, go for it.” (Too soft, too gentle, with his stomach doing a gold medal worthy floor routine.)

There was a shaky inhale on the other line, and then a torrent of words.

“It’s just, for the _longest_ time, you’ve been an amazing friend to me, and I, I guess I always thought-i always thought that was all of it? And I never felt like-felt like we could be anything else, since I’m such a fucking mess and, and you’re you and I always thought that, that you’d never even think about me I like that, but now I just, I can’t hide it anymore, I just-“

“Evan. Breathe.” Even through the pounding of his heart in his chest, Jared could hear the desperation and tears soaking Evan’s words. “You’re almost scaring me-“

“Ireallyreallylikeyou.” Evan spit out suddenly, as if the words wouldn’t come out if he didn’t force them. “I like you, like, so much? For so, so long. Like, I’ve liked you so long I just, I like you so much, you don’t even know, I just might, I might lo- _no_ , oh my god, I’m hanging up, forget I said any of that _ohmygod_ -“

“Wait! No! Shit, don’t-dont hang up!” Jared thought his head might burst, or he’d wake up from a fever dream, or John Quiñones would burst through the door with a camera crew revealing this all to be an elaborate set-up for _What Would You Do_? But his head remained in tact, and when he pinched himself it hurt, and his house remained eerily quiet, so he was forced to accept Evan’s confession at face. He was snapped out of it by Evan’s soft voice on the phone.

“Please don’t hate me.”

“Oh, Christ, Evan, I-“ Jared pinched his nose, feeling as though his heart was being shredded with the desperate tone in Evan’s voice. “I could never hate you, Jesus, couldn’t you tell- I-shit, I really like you too.”

“Really?” Evan sounded so close to tears Jared almost burst into tears himself.

“Yeah,” Jared replied, beiginning to grin like an idiot as he finally processed what was happening. “So, so much.”

***

They met in the parking lot the next morning. Evan looked simultaneously nervous enough to faint and giddy beyond belief as Jared pulled his car up to the front of the building.

“Hey,” he said, feeling that old affection creep into his voice as Evan pulled the passenger side door open and crawled in.

“Hey,” Evan responded, his voice so small Jared could barely hear it.

“So, about last night…”

Evan launched into full apology mode before Jared could finish. “I’m so sorry, I totally, I totally understand if you-if you don’t feel the same way or I uh, I put you on the spot-”

Jared, surprising even himself, cut him off by leaning forward and lacing Evan’s fingers with his.

“Evan,” he whispered, ignoring the part of his brain that said _no too close._ “Evan,” he said again, tone full of affection and kindness.

Evan appeared to have stopped breathing, clutching Jared’s hand in his. “Yes?” He breathed, sounding entirely different.

“Could I kiss you?”

Jared didn’t know what part of him had made him say it, but sitting in the drivers seat of his car, hand entwined in Evan’s, it felt like the right thing to say.

Evan nodded.

Ever so gently, Jared leaned forward, cupping Evan’s cheek with his free hand. He let them linger for a moment before leaning in and kissing him.

Evan melted into the kiss almost immediately, bringing his hand up to Jared’s hair, as he felt fireworks explode in every part of his brain, moving so naturally, feeling both like coming home and holding all the thrill of teetering on the edge of abandon.

Much too soon, Evan had to pull back for air, and rested his head on Jared’s shoulder, humming a small, contented note.

Jared’s heart exploded with joy, and he brought their entwined hands up to press a kiss to the back of Evan’s hand.

“Thank you for always picking up,” Evan whispered, sounding the happiest Jared had ever heard him. “Especially last night.”

Jared closed his eyes, smiling broadly. “Thank you for calling.”

***

_Bonus:_

Jared awoke in the night to a small whimper.

He was hit, suddenly, by memories of his phone buzzing at nighttime many years ago, his heart leaping with each _bzzz_.

Now, he turned over and his heart leaped a little, pulling Evan closer to him through whatever had made him whimper in sleep. As Evan nestled himself into Jared’s chest, he smiled slowly, heart full of love and head full of memories as he drifted off to sleep, his phone silenced on the nightstand beside him.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on the hellsite @itstrulyastrangerthing or @a-secondhand-sorrow 
> 
> ease my mind is a kleinsen song you can’t change my mind


End file.
